Apr 10, 2014


Eva Pilar

A Letter to a Soon-to-be Big Sister

My Evita Pilar,

Any day now you’ll officially earn the title “Big Sister,” though I have been calling you that for months. I’ve been trying so hard to prepare you for all the changes you’re about to experience. I’ve been reading you stories, letting you feel my belly, reminding you that there will be a “baby brudder” in the house soon.

I used to hear parents talk about how stressed they were to introduce a new baby to their only child. I remember thinking, “Your kid will be fine… get over it.” It wasn’t until I found myself in this situation that I realized how worrisome it can be. For the past two years, you’ve been the center of my universe. You haven’t had to share our attention with anyone. Things will be very different soon. There will be a crying, needy newborn in the house. I won’t always be able to respond to your requests to play or read a book right away. I won’t be able to carry you as much as I used to. And I can’t help but worry that you’ll feel sad or left out. I know these are normal things to feel. I know that it’s probably good for you to experience them and learn to deal with them sooner rather than later. Still, the thought of you ever feeling that way brings me to tears. You’re my baby. I don’t want you to ever be sad.

But deep down inside, I know you’ll do fine. You’re such a loving, caring person. You’re so in tune with people’s emotions and your heart is so big. It will be difficult for a while. It will be hard for all of us. But I know there will come a day when you can’t imagine what life would be like without your baby brother. You two have so much in store.

Take it from me, a little brother is one of the best things in the world. Sure, he’ll annoy you. A lot. You’ll argue. You might even beat each other up. But as you grow you’ll become the greatest of friends. You’ll have so much fun together. You’ll get in trouble together.. You’ll share secrets that I’ll never know about. As people come and go, you’ll have each other’s backs forever.

And maybe you can’t understand (or even read) any of this right now, but I want you to know that I’m doing the best I can to make this transition as easy as possible for you. Who knows. Maybe you’ll surprise me and be super stoked about your brother from day one. But I’m guessing that you won’t be, and that’s okay. I don’t expect you to be. Whatever your reaction is, I want you to know how much I love you. I never knew how much love I had in my heart until you came along, but I know now how much a heart is capable of expanding. There’s no need to make room in there for your baby brother, so don’t worry about that. You will always be my baby girl. My firstborn. My sidekick.

I just know that watching you settle into your new role as a big sister will make me so proud. I love you so much my little princess. As nervous as I am, I look forward to the days ahead.